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The alpha male is a concept that to me depends on the situation. I think there are three elements, being strong, good looking and having money together equals power. Being good looking alone won't make someone an alpha male but it will make him attractive to women or other partners.

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Write opinions about BDSM topics? One of the things that caught my eye on this prompt is the presumption of gender. If we limit ourselves to our gender and societal expectations, what are we really exploring in BDSM?

To be Alpha is to be top of the pack. Rudolph Schenkel wrote a paper about wolves in studying captive wolves in zoos. He identified two primary wolves in a pack the male dog and female bitch and every other member coming beneath them. Schenkel drew parallels to domestic dogs with this theory, bringing the theory right into our homes.

Another scientist, L. He wrote about competition-based hierarchies and that dominance played a role in wolf social order.

April 20,

You can about the theories and why they have been debunked here. Because they have been debunked. If we examine the idea of an alpha male through that lens, the leading male is a parent. He is a caretaker and teacher.

He helps his partner guide their offspring through their young life, showing them how to hunt, where to sleep, how to patrol territory. They teach social skills and communication skills. They are a guide.

Dominant acts are performed by wolves and dogs. However, the Alpha Man is an archetype built upon a poorly constructed understanding of captive wolves and the ideas that men need to be a particular way in order to be seen as A Man. These ideas can be harmful, not just to men but other genders that interact with men. Is chasing a fantasy rooted in insecurity the best way to live your life?

The Alpha Male myth is also rooted in conflict — in order to prove you are Alpha, you must be willing to fight others to secure this social status. Any kind of competition to prove self-worth works here.

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When it comes to wrapping this up in BDSM, the toxicity doubles. You are now taking a man who believes that in order to be a Dominant, he must be aggressive at all times. He is domineering. He is overbearing. He is large and in charge. To question his orders is to question him as a person. From my time in the community, these men absolutely exist. But power is never truly exchanged.

The Alpha Male gives up nothing to have a submissive at his beck and call. He does not give vulnerability. He does not give emotions. He does not give a relationship.

The Alpha Male is a taker. So to paint this archetype to all Dominants is insulting to the Dominants I know. They exude this all in their own unique way. Dominance is as much of a unique path as submission is and there is no true way for either party.

A question that comes up time and time again from newbies is whether or not oral sex is inherently submissive or penetration or…or…or…pick something.

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Nothing is inherently anything. If you have to shout to get me to obey, there is something fundamentally wrong. The internet revolutionized how kinky people could find each other and introduced a whole new element to the game. In my own chat room history, Dominant is capitalized and submissive is not because it reinforces the hierarchy. It creates a clear delineation between the two roles.

These things have lingered and I know several different power exchange couples that enact variations of this as part of their protocols. What you choose to do within your own dynamic is your business.

The only thing you can control is yourself and your relationship. Everyone else on the internet gets to do what they like.

I definitely agree that the capitalization of Dom has nothing to do with the hierarchy. This was fantastic!

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Thank you for ing this prompt! I had no idea and am thankful fir teaching me something new. Terms and Conditions - Privacy Policy. NTW 4 One of the things that caught my eye on this prompt is the presumption of gender. To Capitalize or Not? Like this: Like Loading post: Good Re — July Next Next post: Hiatus Update. Thank you Lilly Loading Leave a Reply Cancel reply.