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There have been no complaints about the lack of sex although she did ask a few times if I was seeing someone else The last time we did it was four months ago.

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We have been together for five years and were once sexually active and adventurous, but my partner has become closed off. We now have sex once every five to six weeks.

She hates talking about our sex life and her sexuality, which I find worse than the lack of sex. Your girlfriend is actually communicating very well about sex — nonverbally. And, understandably, you do not like the message.

You have reached an impasse in your relationship, which will not be broken unless you find out exactly why your sexual and emotional connection was lost and find a good strategy to heal the rift. It would probably be useful to acknowledge your past insensitivities, and apologise.

Then calmly and sincerely share your true feelings of sadness and frustration. Could we please talk about it? Help me to understand what you feel and how we lost our closeness?

Truth-telling can lead to a showdown and ultimatum, so first you should decide if you could continue in the relationship as it is or not. Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.

If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private. Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online and in print. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence.

Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see gu. Sexual healing Sex. Pamela Stephenson Connolly.

Wed 10 Feb Topics Sex Sexual healing Relationships features. Reuse this content.